Stacy is the counter-point to Mike. She is nice, however, she can be a little uncaring at times. She has a tendancy to try to distance herself from Mike when he does something embarrasing or childish. However, she cares for Mike deeply and while she seems cold, she really just wants to be like Mike and not care about stupid little things that she happens to care about. Perhaps that's why she's so attracted to him.

Mike is pretty much the opposite of Stacy. He's a smart guy, but doens't like being smart so he acts stupid about 90% of the time. When he does act smart, it surprises and startles those around him. A weapon of sorts for him. As for Stacy, he loves her because she has the tendancy to express what he wants to say, only that he never thought of. And she's hot. Thats a good reason too.

Kat is a pet Stacy brought home one day. His origins are uncertain, however, Mike is certain he is possessed by some sort of evil entity. Things catch on fire when Kat is around. Mike would give his ring finger for the chance to kill it, but for some reason, he is never able to pull himself up to do it.

Jessie is a stollid militant feminist. She'll have nothing to do with men, and despises women who do not share her views. Stacy, however, has been her friend since she was young, so she lets Stacy off. If Stacy should ever stop caring about Mike and what happens to him, Jessie would kill Mike and Steven and have their corpses hung from a tree in Pakistan.

Steve is your standard-issue pig guy. He likes girls, beer, and doing insane things. He's been Mike's best friend for years, and though they share almost nothing in common, they get along great. Though he's absolutely dumbstruck by how a little idiot like Mike got a babe like Stacy. He figures he'll just get the affections of Jessie, though Jessie seems unwilling to cooperate. All the more reason to persist, he assumes.